“It’s your Birthday! Have a nice day!”
Am I required to have a nice day on my birthday? Am I not allowed to be sad? If yes, then I should be feeling happy right now. I shouldn’t be feeling empty. How to be happy? Can you consider yourself happy when you’re laughing out loud with friends but deep inside your heart there’s a void feeling that you’re too desperate to fill?
I just wanted to be happy on my birthday. And they said “Happiness is a choice” and I guess they are right. I do have a choice on how will I spend the rest of my day but I chose to spend it feeling empty and I hate myself for that.
I feel so selfish for feeling like this when other people have it worse. But can you really blame me for feeling like never good enough? For feeling like no one really cares? Sometimes I just want to disappear and see if someone will actually notice.