To the girl who breaks the hurt of the guy I love

To the girl who breaks the heart of the guy I love,

I don’t understand why I’m wasting an ample amount of time writing about you. All I know is that all my insecurities and self-doubts formed this wall of motivation to finally write my feelings out. For him, you were once the prettiest, you were once his world. And for a while, you owned his heart and mind. But you were nothing more than just the tiniest flicker of hope in a lonely night that he’s trying to hold on to, for you’ve always belonged to someone else. You belong to someone else and you complete each other while he’s trying to pick up his broken pieces trying to forget about you. And here I am, forcing myself in a love triangle with one dead side. Here I am, writing him sweet thoughts, singing him sad songs, hurting for him, secretly; for I am just his friend. A friend who’s willing to give him more than what he deserve. So please, before you claim to like him, before you go around telling everyone how much you adore him, before you go asking him how he’s feeling just because you are very much concerned about him, please think of me. Think of my unrequited feelings for him and his almost-requited feelings for you. Think about your guy and how lucky you are that you found each other while others are struggling for some affection. Think about the chances we could’ve had but wasted from forgetting you.

I always think of a hundred ways to replace you in his heart but you always come back with your way and it shakes off my whole world. I want to look at him without the ache in my heart just because you still own a piece of him. Please stop giving him vain hope of you being together and let me have my chance with him too. Let me prove myself and love him in the most unconditional way possible. Let me make him smile, for his smile is the best damn thing in the world. Let me tell him how much our music match and how I love the TV shows he watch, and that I’ve found my soulmate in him. His every move makes my heart falter and I know I’m doomed. He’s not perfect but he need not be for I love his flaws more than his beauties.

Please set him free. Please give him the peace his heart deserves. I no longer want to waste more time thinking about possibilities. I want to make him feel loved without guilt. I know in my heart that we are meant to be together and that we are connected in every single way. So for the last time, please stay away from him and give me more time to heal him.

1/11/16

Advertisements

“I never thought I could feel pain and awe at the same time twice.

The first time was when it stopped raining after a long week of wet pavements and counting droplets on the window. The sky was full of promises. So there on the beach and away from the city lights, you could see one by one how the stars glow. It seems like they’re happy and dancing to show off their beauty. If only I could dance with them. But here I am contented with just loving them from the distance. And knowing they could never love me back.

The second time was when I looked at the boy beside me.”

Feelings

Feelings..

It’s when you’re in a room full of people and you’re all alone.

It’s when your heart is literally breaking into pieces and you just stare into nothingness, travel through the void, and no tears come out.

It’s when they promised to stay but instead, left you astray

It’s when you no longer know who you are

It’s when sadness seems to blur everything out of sight

It’s when a tear suddenly fell out on the moment and then every heartbreak, every pain, every sadness just came into you and suddenly you just can’t stop crying,  suddenly you remembered how broken you really are, suddenly you stopped caring, you distance yourself from people to know who would make an effort to climb through the walls that you built for yourself and then cries harder because you know no one would.

Feelings hurt, but it’s the greatest proof of you being alive.