“I want all of your pieces, the whole and the broken.
I want to be there from you when the world feels like a torture chamber with gravity for chains.
I want to hear about the universe you hide in your head, the questions that color your nights when life seems too black and white to be true.
But I know you don’t feel the same, so all of this is nothing more than the musings of another broken heart – mine.
I wonder when it will give up on you.”

Words: Maxwell Diawuoh

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“I never thought I could feel pain and awe at the same time twice.

The first time was when it stopped raining after a long week of wet pavements and counting droplets on the window. The sky was full of promises. So there on the beach and away from the city lights, you could see one by one how the stars glow. It seems like they’re happy and dancing to show off their beauty. If only I could dance with them. But here I am contented with just loving them from the distance. And knowing they could never love me back.

The second time was when I looked at the boy beside me.”

“If you’re reading this and you’re not happy right now, you will be.
I don’t know what you’re going through.
Everyone has their own type of darkness that they’re trying to make sense of, but no matter how dark it gets, you’ll do it.
Things will get better, you will get better.
Life will become brighter, and you’ll look back on days like these when you couldn’t look forward to the next hour, let alone the next day.
When you do, you’ll smile, maybe even laugh, and it’ll hit you.
You turned out just fine.”
— Maxwell Diawuoh

What this really is

Is love really an illusion? Or am I just saying this to conceal my feelings away? I don’t want to pretend but I don’t want to care either. I think I’m starting to realize my real feelings. Maybe I’m just mistaking it for love because for the first time in my life, I felt comfortably close to someone whom I really like. Maybe I’m just getting all the wrong ideas from our friendship and taking it to another level. Maybe I’m just assuming that he could also feel the same way about me. So many maybes and what ifs. What if this is really love and I just let it all slip away in a blink of an eye? What if he also feels the same way about me and is just also too afraid to risk what we have right now? What if we’re just both afraid of our own feelings? So many maybes and what ifs that I can’t help thinking that maybe love is just an illusion of maybes and what ifs.